Sherry Chandler

Some depression humor

Like I told Harry, I know nothing about economics so that’s why I’ll go for Andrei Codrescu’s bailout plan:

Ah, where were we? The economy, yes: $700 billion is more than enough money to buy every able-bodied American a chain saw, a solar-powered generator and a stake in a communal well and windmill. Also, red dirt and plum trees. That would probably only cost about $100 billion, and you can use the other $600 billion to buy everybody their house outright.

Now everybody can own their house and be green and self-sufficient, and can go back to whatever they were doing before the world ended: watching TV. Except for me. I was sharpening my chain saw.

But the plan has a downside. You’ll have to read or listen to the whole commentary to find out. (Hint: It has to do with bringing out the troops — that Northcom army perhaps — to convince people it’s un-American to be green and self-sufficient. Watch out for those polygamist haikus guarding the compound.)

Also, via Anglachel, here are some Credit Crunch Jokes from readers of the BBC blog. A couple I like:

An elderly lady receives an e-mail from the son of a deceased (but wealthy) African general, asking whether he could transfer millions of pounds into her bank account in return for a 20% cut. All the son needs is the sort code and account number. Not realising she is the victim of a Nigerian 419 fraud, she e-mails back the details. A couple of minutes later she receives an e-mail back from the general’s son: ‘Icesave?!’ What is this, some sort of scam?”
Anthony, Paris, France

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and then turned in the cans for recycling, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan.
Daniel, Calgary, Canada

And this one:

What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons? The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s
Rob, London, UK

Possibly related posts:

SOS

“sugar-water served with humor”

Rollers and Homers

Money doesn’t talk, it swears…

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