Sherry Chandler » Nil nisi malum….
Nil nisi malum….
Morbid Nailer has won the British Bad Sex in Writing award for a passage from The Castle in the Forest, his last published novel before shuffling off the old mortal coil. Part of the passage which won him this prestigious honor:
“So Klara turned head to foot…and took his old battering ram into her lips. Uncle was now as soft as a coil of excrement. She sucked on him nonetheless with an avidity which could only come from the Evil One…..So now they both had their heads at the wrong end, and the Evil One was there. He had never been so close before.
His mouth lathered with her sap, he [was]…ready at last to grind into her with the Hound, drive it into her piety.”
That must be her hair piety.
Guess all the incest, coprophilia, Freudian theory, conception of Ultimate Evil and demonology so overwhelmed the judges that they rejected this passage from the fictionalized life of Shakespeare, which was runner up:
“Anne Hathaway’s cow-milking fingers…now took pity on my poor anguished erection, and in the infinite agony of her desire, guided it to the quick of the wound.
…now the body of Anne Hathaway began to rage and founder in the rising foam as I clung like a mariner to her heaving haunches…. Our vessel ran shuddering onto the rocks, a wave of wetness ran through us, the air was rent with screams…and…the bank on which we lay drenched and grounded was journey’s end, love’s end, the very sea-mark of our utmost sail.”
Maybe the judges would have preferred a little expense-of-spirit-in-a-waste-of-shame interpolation in the passage. They must own shares in Viagra and Cialis.
Added: Read the shortlist of entries for the Bad Sex Award 2007.
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1 Comment
1. Chan replies at 1st December 2007, 9:23 am :
I think old Mailer believed that, if he wrote something that aroused people, he would have produced pornography.
So he went for the High-Brow Literary Art group and made this scene disgusting.
Oh, and I’ve heard that his scene was about the conception of Hitler. Some might think that his conception was an act of evil, since the man turned out so horrible. Pshaw, say I. Then you have to admit the possibility that Sex Can Be Evil (not hard for a lot of bible thumpers) and are forced to avoid expressing condemnation of Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents, for example, or Charles Manson’s.
But I digress….
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