Sherry Chandler

Well, I’ve been arguing that it’s not necessarily Kentucky’s fault that the infamous Creation Museum was built in our state. I mean, it’s a free country and people can buy land and put up whatever they want as long as they don’t hand out free comics with pictures of Pablo Picasso painting in the nude.

But now I learn, via Bluegrass Reports, that the Northern Kentucky Convention and Visitors Bureau, a “legislatively created” organization, touts the “museum” like this (emphasis added):

The 50,000 sq. ft. Creation Museum located within the greater Cincinnati area will proclaim the Bible as supreme authority in all matters of faith and practice in every area it touches on. Set to open in June 2007, this “walk through history” museum will counter evolutionary natural history museums that turn countless minds against Christ and Scripture..

That blurb would appear to have been taken directly from the Answers In Genesis publicity material, though I’m not going to check it out. I want to avoid that place like that plague, and I will not link to it. Find it yourself.

According to United We Stand:

The Northern Kentucky Convention and Visitors Bureau (CVB) is charged with collecting 1% in transient room taxes from hotel owners in the Northern Kentucky area. Anytime someone stays in a hotel in Kentucky they pay a 1% tax the hotel owners then pays to local CVB’s to promote tourism.

According to Mark Nicholas:

After doing a little research, I learned that the President and CEO of the Bureau is a gentleman named Thomas P. Caradonio. Aside from the offensive proselytizing of his organization’s depiction of the whackjob museum, I also noted that Caradonio was just appointed by Governor Fletcher as the Chairman of Kentucky’s Tourism Development Finance Authority, a public agency that is charged to “assist small tourism attractions obtain financing necessary for the development or expansion of small tourism attractions.”

This all gets a little too close to state sponsorship for my comfort. I thnk, after all, it’s time to voice my outrage that this joke is in Kentucky and apparently taken seriously by the powers that be.

Daniel Phelps, President of the Kentucky Paleontological Society, has been to visit the museum. You can read his report, including a short history of how the place came to be, at this link. My thanks to Mr. Phelps and others who, at least, kept this thing from being put up right next to and associating itself with Big Bone Lick State Park.

Billy Collins, in the introduction to Best American Poetry 2006 (Scribner 2006):

Once Walt Whitman demonstrated that poetry in English could get along without standard meter and end-rhyme, poetry began to lose that familiar gait and musical jauntiness that listeners and readers had come to identify with it. But poetry also lost something more: a trust system that had bound poet and reader together through the reliable recurrence of similar sounds and a steady dependable beat. Whatever emotional or intellectual demands a poem placed on the reader, at least the reader could put trust in the poet’s implicit promise to keep up a tempo and maintain a sound pattern. It’s the same promise that is made to the listeners of popular songs. What has come to replace this system of trust; if anything? However vague a substitute, the answer is probably tone of voice. As a reader, I come to trust or distrust the authority of the poem after reading just a few lines. Do I hear a voice that is making reasonable claims for itself—usually a first-person voice speaking fallibly but honestly—or does the poem begin with a grandiose pronouncement, a riddle, or an intimate confession foisted on me by a stranger? Tone may be the most elusive aspect of written language, but our ears instantly recognize words that sound authentic and words that ring false. (p. xxii)

Answered by The Constant Critic:

Picking on the Best American Poetry series is like shooting a fish in a barrel. Picking on the Best American Poetry series as edited by Billy Collins is like shooting a minnow in a shotglass.

So despite the fact that the subsequent criticism doesn’t even really require Rocket Science Powers and can be more graphically appreciated via the brutally, brilliantly maladaptive cartoons of Jim Behrle, I’m going to criticize anyway, because I want to clarify the distinction between judgment and taste and demonstrate the potentially degrading consequences of pretending that the latter can ever replace the former, even if the former does in part depend on the latter…

Collins then commences to assemble a shaky approximation of argument as to why his tastes are, in fact, something more than a peevish expression of his own private literary utopia. The term on which his standard seems to hinge is voice, even though he never bothers to qualify or explore what voice is, or how it might operate. Like a biblical seer or pyramid-scheme confidence man, Collins simply trusts that those who have ears to hear will do so, and assumes that for those who do not “speak” to him the fault is theirs alone, and no prejudice or inadequacy on his part. He is thus happy and comfortable to report that he would reject a poem because “he failed to hear a human voice speaking,” all the while knowing that what he describes as a “failure” is in fact a patronizingly polite way of declaring unworthy the poem he’s allegedly failed. Elsewhere, he explicitly pines for “the recognizable sound of a human voice…” and finally defines his “process” as characterized by the following question: “Do I hear a voice that is making reasonable claims for itself—usually a first person voice speaking fallibly but honestly – or does the poem begin with a grandiose pronouncement, a riddle, or an intimate confession foisted on me by a stranger? Tone may be the most elusive aspect of written language, but our ears instantly recognize words that sound authentic and words that ring false.” Would that we had ears of such surpassing precision and wisdom! Our poetry might be as bland as Collins hopes, but our political culture would be much improved. Fortunately and un-, the belief is false.

And yet, despite narrowing the range of his taste to admit what is, essentially, only one kind of poem, Collins insists that the poems he’s chosen represent the art as a “wild hodgepodge of verbal activity” and reassures us that he is … “bored by poems that are transparent from beginning to end…”, thereby implying that we won’t find any of those poems in the following pages, no sirree, only wildness of the varieties both hodge and podge.

Okay, okay, I know all this is old news. But I’m just now getting around to reading it. I haven’t yet read the poems — from the TOC, I figure they’re probably “some fairly decent poems” with no great surprises. But the introduction strikes me as it strikes the Constant Critic — as patronizing. Collins, to quote the Critic again, opines that most poetry (he even estimates a literal percentage) is crap, and hoping against hope that those from whom such crap issues will take it upon themselves to shut the f*** up.

Not that I think all poems are created equal, by any means. But if you are going to tell me that I’d be better off learning to tat lace doilies, I want the advice to be based on something more than your (no doubt superior) taste.