Sherry Chandler

Catullus 74– Mr. Grundy

Gellius audierat patuum obiurgare solere,
si quis delicias diceret aut feceret.
hoc ne ipsi accideret, patrui perdepsuit ipsam
uxorem et patruum reddidit Harpocraten.
quod voluit fecit: nam, quamvis irrumet ipsum
nunc patruum, verbum non faciet patruus.

Gellius had heard that his Uncle was ‘customed to fuss
and to chastise if anyone said or did the least thing indelicate.
Lest that befall him, he’s pinched and paddled, fiddled
and faddled, middled and maddened Uncle’s own wife.
So, he’s re-minted Unk in the form of a
small, dumb Harpocrates.
What he willed he’s done: now if he irrumate Uncle
himself, Unk would not say word one.

The verb depsere from which perdepsuit derives is so rare it does not appear in most dictionaries. It means to knead, and Cicero found it to be too unacceptably vulgar for polite speech. Grundyism rears its head in every century but poetry persists in longing after summa dat sweet jelly roll.

Harpocrates was the Egyptian god Horus, usually depicted as an infant with a finger in his mouth. This came to be interpreted as a recommendation for silence.

1. Catullus 41–C*nni indelicias
2. Catullus 5–Cooking the Books
3. Catullus 85
4. Catullus 43-a Pretty Picture
5. Catullus 2 & 2b–Cat’s Sparrow

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